I Know I'm Not The Only One...

Okay:

I cannot handle this anymore...

My head is going to explode if I see another God-forsaken Ed Hardy by Christian Audigier t-shirt. You may be asking yourselves what on Earth I'm talking about. "Ed Hardy? Who the hell is that?"

You have all seen these shirts. I know you have. They are infiltrating our populace at a rapid rate and it's despicable to watch. I have multiple qualms with Christian Audigier and I have decided to list them in bullet form as to not lose your attention:

• Christian Audigier: Who the hell are you? Upon further research I discovered that he was head designer for Von Dutch for a number of years. Yes. That's correct. Those fucking trucker hats that everyone HAD to have because Ashton Kutcher wore them, and he was sooo cool! Seriously though Mr. Audigier... Are you punking me right now? Your clothes SUCK.

• The Price: Upon continued research I found these shitty tees ranging in price from anywhere in the neighborhood of $62 - $154. This is simply ridiculous. I can get a Vineyard Vines button-down dress shirt for $96 and that will be in style for years to come and will be great to wear out to the bars or to work. Anyone that would spend more than $30 on a t-shirt has a learning disability.

• The Demographic: The proclivity to which Guido's and Rednecks seem to be attracted to these heinous T-Shirts is like cattle caught in a tractor beam. What is WRONG with you people!?

• Guido's: I know you love pretending to be every cool celebrity on TV and mimicking their sartorial choices, but do you ever regret your choices? I mean I know you think you're the shit with your enormous Prada sunglasses, your ridiculously overpriced Ed Hardy T-shirt, Diesel Jeans, and your Robert Wayne pointy-toed "weathered" loafers you bought from Buckle last week. Unfortunately, in 2 years when you look back on the pictures from the Jersey Shore you'll take this summer you'll realize that you're a fool. So please take your "Fuckin' Jager-Bomb" and spiked hair, and get the hell out of my way. I'm trying to order a beer over here.

• Rednecks: Is it really necessary for you to look more retarded than you already do without wearing a shirt that you saved weeks for? I understand you read in People that Ed Hardy by Christian Audigier is the shit, but only if you live in L.A. and even then, it's a bit of a stretch. Now look, if your hero happens to be K-Fed, then by all means, go blow all the money you earned at Cracker Barrel waiting tables on Meth and Ed Hardy t-shirts so you can look "cool" when you go to the club. Contrary to your Guido peer, you will be donning the $62 version of the Ed Hardy tee, rocking your shredded Abercrombie & Fitch jeans from 1999, an upside down/backward visor, and your dad's cowboy boots. All whilst chain smoking and holding a Red Bull/Vodka (you're a little behind... We've moved on to Jager-Bombs... Apparently). Come see me at Innisfree sometime, the bouncers there will politely ask you to excuse yourself from the venue for looking like an ass.

____

-- No Tom Arnold... I will NOT buy now. Go marry another ugly fat woman.

• Black People: This is worse than that Bathing Ape fad from a couple of years ago. 'Nough said.

__________________

• For the Love of the Children: Good God parents! Why are you putting your 8 year-old daughter in a shirt that looks like the brain child of Paula Abdul and Brittany Spears on an dime bag? I'm calling Social Services.

I hope this fad ends soon, because if not I'm going to turn into a homicidal maniac and just start tearing across New Jersey in search of Ed's following.

Also, if you are reading this, wearing Ed Hardy, and claim to be my friend, please excuse yourself from my Facebook friends list. Thanks.

Still to come? Tales from Nashville... Whenever I get around to writing that story...

* Nota Bene: This was not a booze-fueled rant. Stone cold sober over here. Just hate this line of clothes that much.

** Another funny anti-Ed article

*** Just because Saks carries it does NOT make it cool.

Gray is not easy to read on a white board...

Funny Story...

So we're sitting in my intermediate microecon class today and my teacher is scribbling away on the white board with a red dry erase marker and babbling about Average Variable Cost curves in a thick Thai accent when this kid in the back of my class raises his hand and says:

Fratty Kid: "Hey... Umm... Could you like, not use a red marker... Or a green one..."

I instantly realize why and start laughing to myself.

Prof: "Umm... Okay...?"

Fratty Kid: "I'm colorblind... Well... Really colorblind..."

Prof: "Oooooh... That sucks..."

He proceeded to get a brown marker.

I laughed to myself about it for about 5 minutes after that.

In Regards To My Ethics in Computing Class

Two Things:

1. Is it wrong that we are using pictures of registered sex offenders as examples of "people you probably shouldn't talk to online?" These kids are going to hit this part of the webgame and be like, "Holy Hell! That's who I'm talking to in the Tween's chatroom on AOL? For Example:

These guys:

Jesus... That's not terrifying at all... If that doesn't keep you from talking to strangers I don't know what will...

2. In class we were going over project tasks and since the group I work with is mostly done with our stuff we had a lot of time to burn... About 5 of us were talking about movies and this kid was like, "I found the best website ever for ripping DVDs..." A twenty minute conversation on how to rip DVDs ensued... This is ETHICS in computing, correct? Copyright laws fall under that heading, right? Irony in action is pretty funny...

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Now playing: Yelle - Je veux te voir
via FoxyTunes

I'm So Excited... (... And I Just Can't Hide It)

Okay, Where the Wild Things Are is one of my favorite books of all time, and now they're making it into a movie. If they screw this up Maurice Sendak and I are going to flip our shit (simultaneously). I found this earlier and I WILL be going to see it.


Also, I am aware that when I do go see this in the theatre it will be me and 99 of my closest 7 year-old friends. And. I. Don't. Care.

The Twenty Five Things [Julian Smith] Hates About Facebook

This is something awesome I found on YouTube (of course...) I think this is pretty funny... And Accurate!

Huffy Housewives Unite... Er... Wait... That's a terrible idea...

... Let's just leave it at the original:

My mother - The Jeanie. (I'm probably going to pay for this pic...)

And she sure as hell is just that, huffy - and hilarious. Which is why I'm instructing you to read her blog. I'm hoping she posts more than just the one about ringtones soon. I added her to my RSS Feed, and when I told her about this she asked me what an RSS Feed is... She has much to learn.

Basically she is writing for some sort of online journal dealy... I'm not really sure what the point of the website is (maybe that should be the topic of your next post Jeege). But so far I've been entertained.

The lovely Jean is going to be writing about my dad's proclivity towards spending 8 hours at a time up at the club, my brother's insesant bitching, my grandfather's dementia, my grandmother's dementia, her equally hilarious sister and friends, and of course: yours truly.

Oh did I mention she gets paid per hit?
Put me through college and go to the damn blog.
I promise you won't regret it.

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Now playing: Sleeping At Last - Quicksand
via FoxyTunes

Ethics In Computing/Service Learning Project

Okay, so for my Service Learning class we are designing a website for middle school kids to learn how to use the internet responsibly. It is set up like a board game with 5 different stages. My stage is Cyber Bullying. This is my story written for 6-9th graders:

Cyber Bully:
Today, while playing on MyFace, a message appears in your inbox. You get really excited and immediately check it, but when you see whom it’s from you’re kind of confused. It’s from Susie, the girl who has been talking about you behind your back at school. The subject line reads: “About Tyler/Rachel.” You get really curious because that’s your crush’s name, so you read the message:

“Hey %n,
I was talking to Tyler/Rachel, the other day at school and he/she said that they thought you were pretty cool and would like to hang out with you some time, but don’t worry. I made sure to tell them you thought they were a total loser, and couldn’t stand even talking to them. Sorry!
~ Susie”

{Could we maybe try to do a Screen Shot of an actual Facebook message here with this typed into it?}

You’re infuriated and want to tell Susie exactly what you think of her. What do you do?

Should you A:
Send Susie a nasty e-mail back telling her that you think she’s a really bad person, and that she has no business talking to your friends.

Should you B:
Just ignore Susie’s mean e-mail. You’re pretty sure this is one of those times where you should be the bigger person like your parents always told you to be. Also, she’s kind of stupid and probably didn’t even talk to Tyler/Rachel, but just made the whole story up to get a rise out of you.

Consequence A:
Wrong. You and Susie start an online war, exchanging mean messages, and making each other miserable. Eventually this leads to you two yelling at each other in school, and in the midst of your heated exchange a teacher walks up and separates the two of you. You both end up in the principal’s office where he gives both of you in-school suspension.

Consequence B:
You were right about Susie lying about the whole thing. You ask Tyler/Rachel the next day if they had talked to Susie, and turns out that Tyler/girl name can’t stand Susie, and when she tried to tell them those things about you they told her to stop lying and go away. Susie doesn’t bother to message you anymore and now looks embarrassed every time you walk by.

This is what I really wanted to type, but that was perhaps too offensive/over the head of middle schoolers:

Cyber Bully:
Today, while playing on MyFace, a message appears in your inbox. You get really annoyed because you had just cleared that out, but nevertheless check it, but when you see whom it’s from you’re further exasperated. It’s from Susan, that dumb bitch who has been talking shit to everyone behind your back on campus. The subject line reads: “About Tyler/Rachel.” You get really concerned because that’s the guy/girl you've been talking to. So, despite your better judgement, you read the message:

“Hey %n,
I was drunkenly slurring to Tyler/Rachel, the other day at the bar and he/she said that they thought you were pretty cool and have been dying for the two of you just to run into each other at the Mexican place downtown that serves minors, so the two of you can drunkenly hook up and regret it in the morning. But don't worry I made sure to tell them you thought he/she was a fugly bitch/ass, and wouldn't even make out with them or risk Chlamydia. Sorry, haha!
~ Susie”

{Could we maybe try to do a Screen Shot of an actual Facebook message here with this typed into it? And then a picture of the player seething plotting young Susan's untimely death in a tragic laptop explosion?}

You’re infuriated and want to throw a malotov cocktail on that bitch's Hyundai. What do you do?

Should you A:
Send Susie a vitriolic e-mail back telling her that you think she’s a sleezy, fugly, slut, and that she has no business living, and to stop going around telling everyone about her Venerial Diseases... You said that you were afraid to talk to her or risk Chlamydia, not Tyler/Rachel.

Should you B:
Just ignore Susie’s mean e-mail. You’re pretty sure this is one of those times where you should be the bigger person like your parents always told you to be. Also, she’s kind of stupid and probably didn’t even talk to Tyler/Rachel, but just made the whole story up to get a rise out of you. --- THIS IS NOT TRUE KIDS. THIS SLUT IS NOT GOING TO LEAVE YOU ALONE UNTIL YOU GET UP IN HER BITCH-ASS FACE AND TELL HER TO BACK THE FUCK OFF.

Consequence A:
Wrong. You and Susie start an online war, exchanging appalling messages, and trying your best to make the other snap and come after you. Eventually, this leads to you two cussing each other out at school, and in the midst of your heated exchange a teacher walks up and tries to seperate the two of you, but you both just end up punching her in the face. You both end up in the principal’s office where he expels both of you for being "fucking morons".

Consequence B:
You were wrong about Susie lying about the whole thing. You ask Tyler/Rachel the next day if they had talked to Susie, and turns out that Tyler/Rachel had talked to Susie. This is determined when they spit in your face and walk off. You go looking for Susie, and Consequence A ends up happening anyway. Congrats.

I don't think my CS 340 would appreciate the second one very much...
I'm seriously tempted to turn in the second one anyway. If I want to be ethical about it I should at least tell these kids the truth, haha.




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Now playing: Of Montreal - Gronlandic Edit
via FoxyTunes